Tonight, my husband and I watched The Perfect Host with David Hyde Pierce. I loved him as Niles in Frasier, but his character in this movie was way different. He was so creepy. I won't give too much away, but this movie totally wasn't what I expected. It wasn't really "scary" per se, but it was creepy. I liked it. My husband liked it.
Despite everything that is going on, I am going to stick to my 31 days of Halloween. I appreciate the out pour of love and kind thoughts from everyone.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
R.I.P Grandma GG
I watched my movie for today, but I don't want that to be the main focus of this blog since I have other shit on my mind as well. I will briefly discuss the movie, then I will get into more important things.
It's funny too, because I have a lot I'd like to say about the movie but I won't. I watched The Possession today and it was the first of the movies I've watched that actually kind of freaked me out. I was surprised to see Matisyahu in it. I love him. I love his music and what he stands for. I definitely recommend this movie for those who like exorcism movies.
Now for more pressing subjects, today my aunt called me and I missed her call but there was no message so I called her back to find out what was up. She said she wanted to know if I wanted to visit my great grandma (I've always just called her grandma) which was odd, because I just saw her Sunday and I would be going again on Sunday. She told me that she had been non responsive and had shallow breathing. My heart fell. I feel like I'm broken. I haven't lost a human family member in almost five years when my cousin passed away.
I do not deal with death well because it gets me to my core. I fear death so much. I fear what comes after and I fear that I have not been a good enough person, although I try my hardest. I am afraid of dying and I am afraid for those who die. I like to think that my loved ones are still with me in some shape or form after they pass, but I also hate to think that they would be stuck here, rather than passing on.
Now, I didn't get to visit my grandma for almost 3 months while I was waiting to heal with my legs. I was afraid of driving because sometimes my legs don't want to work with me. I hate that because of my stupidity in falling down the stairs, I lost so much time with my grandma.
I hate that I'm a fucking gimpy cripple.
I have to now possibly see people that I don't want to because everyone is visiting my grandma. I understand that people will be there, but I still don't have to like it or those that I have written out of my life. I'm not going to not see my grandma because I dislike a good chunk of people in my family, I will just deal with it and all the shit that comes with it.
My heart hurts. I do not know what else to say because I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I want to hold on to my parents and husband and never EVER let them go.
As I was writing this blog, I got a call from my aunt to let me know that my grandma has passed on. My husband and I went to say our goodbye and while we were there, my angry heart let go of my anger for one night to hug all those in sight. Even those that I have written out of my life.
I know one thing for sure, I AM broken. I have to rebuild again.
My grandma was 95 years old.
When I was 15, I used to pick her up to take her to family dinner night. She never said anything to me about cussing and being an angry driver. I did this every Wednesday for as long as we had family dinner. We no longer do this, but these memories are memories I will always cherish. I have all my grandmum's unused yarn and unfinished projects. I will think of her every time I make something with love and yarn.
It's funny too, because I have a lot I'd like to say about the movie but I won't. I watched The Possession today and it was the first of the movies I've watched that actually kind of freaked me out. I was surprised to see Matisyahu in it. I love him. I love his music and what he stands for. I definitely recommend this movie for those who like exorcism movies.
Now for more pressing subjects, today my aunt called me and I missed her call but there was no message so I called her back to find out what was up. She said she wanted to know if I wanted to visit my great grandma (I've always just called her grandma) which was odd, because I just saw her Sunday and I would be going again on Sunday. She told me that she had been non responsive and had shallow breathing. My heart fell. I feel like I'm broken. I haven't lost a human family member in almost five years when my cousin passed away.
I do not deal with death well because it gets me to my core. I fear death so much. I fear what comes after and I fear that I have not been a good enough person, although I try my hardest. I am afraid of dying and I am afraid for those who die. I like to think that my loved ones are still with me in some shape or form after they pass, but I also hate to think that they would be stuck here, rather than passing on.
Now, I didn't get to visit my grandma for almost 3 months while I was waiting to heal with my legs. I was afraid of driving because sometimes my legs don't want to work with me. I hate that because of my stupidity in falling down the stairs, I lost so much time with my grandma.
I hate that I'm a fucking gimpy cripple.
I have to now possibly see people that I don't want to because everyone is visiting my grandma. I understand that people will be there, but I still don't have to like it or those that I have written out of my life. I'm not going to not see my grandma because I dislike a good chunk of people in my family, I will just deal with it and all the shit that comes with it.
My heart hurts. I do not know what else to say because I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. I want to hold on to my parents and husband and never EVER let them go.
As I was writing this blog, I got a call from my aunt to let me know that my grandma has passed on. My husband and I went to say our goodbye and while we were there, my angry heart let go of my anger for one night to hug all those in sight. Even those that I have written out of my life.
I know one thing for sure, I AM broken. I have to rebuild again.
My grandma was 95 years old.
When I was 15, I used to pick her up to take her to family dinner night. She never said anything to me about cussing and being an angry driver. I did this every Wednesday for as long as we had family dinner. We no longer do this, but these memories are memories I will always cherish. I have all my grandmum's unused yarn and unfinished projects. I will think of her every time I make something with love and yarn.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
31 Days of Halloween: Day 3
My husband and I watched The Cabin in the Woods today and I have to say, I did pretty well. The idea was scary, and the effects were pretty good. Wasn't what I thought it would be. I wasn't scared though.
This is actually becoming easier than I thought, maybe because I was watching with my husband for the last couple days. Tomorrow I will be watching by myself because CW usually doesn't watch TV on Fridays, he pretty much does his own thing while I watch a gaggle of stupid shit, tomorrow's stupid shit will be a scary movie of some sort. Not sure what I will watch though.
I also finished a few projects as well. I really need to work on Deborah and Cherubs birthday presents soon. It will be Stephy and Kim's birthdays before I know it and I will be like WHAAAA? haha I also need to start Festivus gift making.
I had lunch and tea with my grandmum and aunt today. It was nice. I helped them with their kindles and even got a few books to read. Gramoo pretty much knows, any book she gives me, becomes mine. I do not return. I like book trophies. LOVE books.
This is actually becoming easier than I thought, maybe because I was watching with my husband for the last couple days. Tomorrow I will be watching by myself because CW usually doesn't watch TV on Fridays, he pretty much does his own thing while I watch a gaggle of stupid shit, tomorrow's stupid shit will be a scary movie of some sort. Not sure what I will watch though.
I also finished a few projects as well. I really need to work on Deborah and Cherubs birthday presents soon. It will be Stephy and Kim's birthdays before I know it and I will be like WHAAAA? haha I also need to start Festivus gift making.
I had lunch and tea with my grandmum and aunt today. It was nice. I helped them with their kindles and even got a few books to read. Gramoo pretty much knows, any book she gives me, becomes mine. I do not return. I like book trophies. LOVE books.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
31 Days of Halloween: Day 2
Today my husband and I watched Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and I started watching the first season of American Horror Story. My husband watched a little with me, but he was in and out of the room.
First off, I really liked Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in book version, there was of course, a lot of shit left out of the movie, but it was still pretty decent since Seth Grahame-Smith wrote both the screen play and the book. I understand not everything can be put on the big screen that's in books so I wasn't too pissy the way I get at some movies.
I liked the special effects a lot, I think that the vampires were gross, so I guess we're ok. The action was intense but the movie wasn't really "scary" to me. I guess maybe because I knew what to expect? All in all, I dug it, but it's something I could've watched by myself and not shit myself.
Now, American Horror Story was pretty effing weird and I can see some parts freaking me out if I were to watch it at night. My parents are addicts and I'm sure if we would have had FX when it first started coming on tv, that I would've watched it every week as well, now we have FX and I definitely want to watch the new one. I've always been intrigued by witches and whatnot. So let's see.
So far, I'm not having problems with this movie thing, but I'm only two days in. :)
First off, I really liked Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in book version, there was of course, a lot of shit left out of the movie, but it was still pretty decent since Seth Grahame-Smith wrote both the screen play and the book. I understand not everything can be put on the big screen that's in books so I wasn't too pissy the way I get at some movies.
I liked the special effects a lot, I think that the vampires were gross, so I guess we're ok. The action was intense but the movie wasn't really "scary" to me. I guess maybe because I knew what to expect? All in all, I dug it, but it's something I could've watched by myself and not shit myself.
Now, American Horror Story was pretty effing weird and I can see some parts freaking me out if I were to watch it at night. My parents are addicts and I'm sure if we would have had FX when it first started coming on tv, that I would've watched it every week as well, now we have FX and I definitely want to watch the new one. I've always been intrigued by witches and whatnot. So let's see.
So far, I'm not having problems with this movie thing, but I'm only two days in. :)
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
31 Days of Halloween: Day 1
I had a cup of hot apple cider and watched Nosferatu a little while ago and might I say, I have a few observations. I wasn't scared the way I normally am during a scary movie, but I did have that eerie feeling. Max Shreck was really a good creeper. He looked effing disgusting in the movie and after watching SyFy's Face Off for the last few years, I think they did pretty well with the make up that Count Orlok was in.
I found a few things humorous with the movie, such as the "werewolf" being a hyena. I also found myself thinking "wow, this is terrible overacting" in some parts. I did however, take it for what it was, a classic, early adaption and I think that had I not been spoiled with the scary shit we have today, I would have been scared by this if I saw it during it's release.
The music helped. I do have to say, it was pretty disturbing. I also enjoyed the odd cutting of the film where the characters would be in one place, then suddenly in another.
Day 1 of 31 Days of Halloween was pretty smooth. I can't really complain about it. I'm glad I got to watch a silent movie for the first day. It only feels right to start with a classic.
Tomorrow is Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter which is going to be something I watch with my husband. Let's see how it compares to the book!
I found a few things humorous with the movie, such as the "werewolf" being a hyena. I also found myself thinking "wow, this is terrible overacting" in some parts. I did however, take it for what it was, a classic, early adaption and I think that had I not been spoiled with the scary shit we have today, I would have been scared by this if I saw it during it's release.
The music helped. I do have to say, it was pretty disturbing. I also enjoyed the odd cutting of the film where the characters would be in one place, then suddenly in another.
Day 1 of 31 Days of Halloween was pretty smooth. I can't really complain about it. I'm glad I got to watch a silent movie for the first day. It only feels right to start with a classic.
Tomorrow is Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter which is going to be something I watch with my husband. Let's see how it compares to the book!
Monday, September 30, 2013
31 days of Halloween
When I was a teenager I LOVED slasher flicks. I used to love watching anything that scared the shit out of me and I would constantly watch anything ghost, witch, exorcism, serial killer, etc related. When I moved out on my own, scary movies were not so much part of my routine unless I was watching with someone else. Even then, I'd still be paranoid as a motherfucker.
I used to always want to watch scary movies to get me in the mood for Halloween, yet never did because well, I'm a chickenshit. Granted, my husband and I have lived together for 5 years but I still rarely watch scary movies.
This year, this year is different. I have made a plan to watch one scary movie each day, whether I watch it alone or with my husband. I'm also going to watch a few episodes of American Horror Story in addition to my movie list.
I'm not going all Willy Nilly and just watching whatever suits my fancy, I actually went through Netflix and my own DVD collection and picked out movies that I have never seen (with the exception of one). Most movies are pretty new (who knew so many scary flicks made in the last 3-4 years?) and there are a few classics.
I've decided that I'm going to blog about these movies and just talk a bit about my paranoia and whatnot. I mean, it can't be that bad can it? I mean, I read scary books on occasion and we all know that books are far more detailed and scary than movies (what's scarier than an active imagination?).
I'm using a mix or horror and thriller genre movies. The first movie I'm going to watch is Nosferatu which I've never seen before but have seen many documentaries on. I'm pretty effing stoked. With me publicly proclaiming this, I feel I'm more apt to stick to it.
Thirty-One movies. Thirty-One days. I can do this.
I used to always want to watch scary movies to get me in the mood for Halloween, yet never did because well, I'm a chickenshit. Granted, my husband and I have lived together for 5 years but I still rarely watch scary movies.
This year, this year is different. I have made a plan to watch one scary movie each day, whether I watch it alone or with my husband. I'm also going to watch a few episodes of American Horror Story in addition to my movie list.
I'm not going all Willy Nilly and just watching whatever suits my fancy, I actually went through Netflix and my own DVD collection and picked out movies that I have never seen (with the exception of one). Most movies are pretty new (who knew so many scary flicks made in the last 3-4 years?) and there are a few classics.
I've decided that I'm going to blog about these movies and just talk a bit about my paranoia and whatnot. I mean, it can't be that bad can it? I mean, I read scary books on occasion and we all know that books are far more detailed and scary than movies (what's scarier than an active imagination?).
I'm using a mix or horror and thriller genre movies. The first movie I'm going to watch is Nosferatu which I've never seen before but have seen many documentaries on. I'm pretty effing stoked. With me publicly proclaiming this, I feel I'm more apt to stick to it.
Thirty-One movies. Thirty-One days. I can do this.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Sleepwalking and Ghosts?
There are a couple of things I want to talk about. The first being the fact that I may be sleepwalking. I don't have any proof of this other than a sore tailbone. I may or may not have fallen while sleepwalking and now I am totally uncomfortable.
Now, my dad and uncle were/are sleepwalkers so this may be a contributing factor. If I am sleepwalking, this fucking sucks and it's yet another fucking disorder to add to my plate.
I know for a FACT I have not fallen while awake and I haven't drank since July 4th. Even when I drink I don't drink to get stupid drunk (fear of hangover/vomiting) anymore.
So, I really don't know how else to explain this sore tailbone. I've woken up with other injuries before and never really associated myself with sleepwalking until just recently. My mom thinks I should put a camera in our room to see what I do at night, but... what if I have some sort of weird Paranormal Activity experience?
Which leads me to my next issue I'd like to discuss, we may or may not have a ghost or ghosts. Yes, plural. This entity that we feel may be in our house started off as just a feeling of unease, at least with myself. I've had a few odd instances before while being alone in the house, cold breezes across my body when no air was flowing, feeling like my hair was being touched... just things like that.
Recently within the last few months, other things started to happen like stuff that was solid on shelves falling to the floor while all animals were with us in the room. We even woke up one day to a figurine of mine being spun around the opposite direction it normally faces... and neither of us picked it up and moved it, also the dust (really it's pointless to dust frequently in the desert because once you dust, it's dusty again) was disturbed as well, if my husband or I had moved the figure, no dust would have been disturbed because we would have just picked it up and turned it.
Then a couple of days ago, my husband went into the garage to get cat litter and as he was trying to come back in the house, he heard a click and could not open the door because he was locked out. I was just sitting on the bed watching TV (very loudly) with the dogs so I had no clue this happened till my husband was at our bedroom window asking me to unlock the back door. I had no clue why he was asking this till I went to open the door, I thought maybe he had been outside and the sliding door had locked on him, nope. He had hopped the back fence BAREFOOT, and had to navigate his way through random pokey shit (stickers, trees, rocks etc). Once my husband had this experience, he truly started to believe me that we have some sort of entity or entities rooming with us.
Now, weird stuff used to happen near the garage while my husband's dad's ashes were in there, (ie cats meowing and frequently staring at the door like they were staring at someone) now the weird things have moved into the house when we placed my dead father in law's ashes in the house. Things got even weirder once we brought the hope chest my grandma gave me into the house.
Since I'm the only certifiable one in the house and now my husband is a believer, yeah... I'm kinda freaked out. Hopefully things won't get worse than a few mischievous mishaps.
Now, my dad and uncle were/are sleepwalkers so this may be a contributing factor. If I am sleepwalking, this fucking sucks and it's yet another fucking disorder to add to my plate.
I know for a FACT I have not fallen while awake and I haven't drank since July 4th. Even when I drink I don't drink to get stupid drunk (fear of hangover/vomiting) anymore.
So, I really don't know how else to explain this sore tailbone. I've woken up with other injuries before and never really associated myself with sleepwalking until just recently. My mom thinks I should put a camera in our room to see what I do at night, but... what if I have some sort of weird Paranormal Activity experience?
Which leads me to my next issue I'd like to discuss, we may or may not have a ghost or ghosts. Yes, plural. This entity that we feel may be in our house started off as just a feeling of unease, at least with myself. I've had a few odd instances before while being alone in the house, cold breezes across my body when no air was flowing, feeling like my hair was being touched... just things like that.
Recently within the last few months, other things started to happen like stuff that was solid on shelves falling to the floor while all animals were with us in the room. We even woke up one day to a figurine of mine being spun around the opposite direction it normally faces... and neither of us picked it up and moved it, also the dust (really it's pointless to dust frequently in the desert because once you dust, it's dusty again) was disturbed as well, if my husband or I had moved the figure, no dust would have been disturbed because we would have just picked it up and turned it.
Then a couple of days ago, my husband went into the garage to get cat litter and as he was trying to come back in the house, he heard a click and could not open the door because he was locked out. I was just sitting on the bed watching TV (very loudly) with the dogs so I had no clue this happened till my husband was at our bedroom window asking me to unlock the back door. I had no clue why he was asking this till I went to open the door, I thought maybe he had been outside and the sliding door had locked on him, nope. He had hopped the back fence BAREFOOT, and had to navigate his way through random pokey shit (stickers, trees, rocks etc). Once my husband had this experience, he truly started to believe me that we have some sort of entity or entities rooming with us.
Now, weird stuff used to happen near the garage while my husband's dad's ashes were in there, (ie cats meowing and frequently staring at the door like they were staring at someone) now the weird things have moved into the house when we placed my dead father in law's ashes in the house. Things got even weirder once we brought the hope chest my grandma gave me into the house.
Since I'm the only certifiable one in the house and now my husband is a believer, yeah... I'm kinda freaked out. Hopefully things won't get worse than a few mischievous mishaps.
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